This morning began my first non-tragedy related vacation in 4 years. I chose to worship at the church of a friend and her husband. It was so encouraging to be able to celebrate in worship with people and not have any responsibility.
My Grandmother, Father-in-Law, Mother, Grandfather, Step-mom… all passed away in the last five years. My grandmother was first… she was one of the most influential people in my life. Unless you’ve experienced the difficulty of that much time in the hospital, by death beds, and experiencing loss… It’s very hard to explain. One thing I’ve discovered is that enduring these times is very troubling in what it exposes in yourself and others. The unexpected help from people who had no reason to care… the friends who you expected to call, but did not bother… the church who ignored that one of their members was dying… the church who reached out to the son of their worship pastor’s ex-spouse… the people who took care of you…
…and those who chose to use this time as a way to fulfill their twisted desire to gossip, tear-down, and criticize.
As always… God has been faithful.
I’m still standing…
I’m still reaching out and impacting my community for Him…
and I’m not going anywhere.
And, as always… I could not possibly care less about what others think.
I’m excited for a week to relax and take a breath… but, even more so… I’m excited about what lies ahead.
Three of the thoughts that have kept me going through the many times I’ve wanted to just give up over the last few years…
“You wake up every day and just accept that you will be tired, then you find peace and strength in God.” -Derek Loux
“You’re going to have to do ministry with a broken heart… Regardless of what’s going on in our lives, it doesn’t matter. It’s never been about us anyway.” -Russ Austin
“You can give up now… Or you can step up and change the world.” -Sunday Robert-Eze
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